Ur attachment style is the way u manage anxiety abt closeness.. Everybody is capable of all three styles.. But each person has a dominant style..

Does attachment style vary with a particular romantic relationship?
It does.. With two pursuers.. It's great in the beginning.. But ultimately u're going to have to come up for air.. If u have two avoiders.. One will have to shift or u'll never have contact.. The goal is to get the pursuer to shut up.. And the avoider to show up..

More women are pursuers when it comes to verbal intimacy.. And more men are pursuers when it comes to sexual intimacy.. A pursuer in the living room can be an avoider in the bedroom..

How can u have a healthy relationship if u aren't securely attached?
If u're a pursuer.. When those magic moments of connection happen.. Breathe it in.. Practice the art of daily appreciation.. "Thank u" remind u that u got something.. That's what's missing with the pursuers.. They think they dun have anything..

If u're an avoider.. Recognize ur own need for connection.. Understand that u can communicate in nonverbal ways.. U can write a letter.. Send an email.. Leave a rose on ur partner's pillow.. Initiate touch.. Daily acts of initiation will reap great rewards..

The big mistake is to think that the avoider doesn't want closeness.. Or that the overbearing pursuer wants to push u away.. Fights usually happen when one person is asked to take on a style that doesn't work for them..

The good news is.. Some of ur attachment style is hard-wired.. But the rest of it is learned behaviour.. The older u get.. The more securely attached u become..


Answer True or False

1) I show love clearly and regularly to the people I care for..
2) I openly accept the love and care of others..
3) I ask for help freely and often..
4) I have at least three people I trust and confide in regularly..
5) I feel calm and secure on a daily basis..
6) I am known for my patience and tolerance..
7) People see me as available for intimacy..
8) I am open with my feelings..
9) My lifestyle shows that relationships are a priority..
10) I initiate and maintain contact with people in my life..
11) I generally take care of others better than I take care of myself..
12) I need a lot of contact time with my close relationships..
13) I get anxious when separated from the people I love..
14) I am the one who initiates most contact in relationships..
15) I sometimes come across as critical or pushy..
16) People see me as impatient..
17) I can be demanding in relationships..
18) I have had several relationship disappointments..
19) I can be pretty intense in relationships..
20) Much of my thinking involves close relationships..
21) I often lose myself in work or projects..
22) I tend to be quiet or uncomfortable in social situations..
23) I am generally a private person..
24) I tend to be quite self-sufficient..
25) I get uncomfortable with extended periods of closeness..
26) I think too much is made of relationships and closeness..
27) My partner has complained about my distancing behaviors..
28) People sometimes see me as over-involved in work..
29) At times I consciously avoid contact with others..
30) I can be withdrawn in relationships..

KEY
The more true answers u have in each category.. The more u display characteristics of the corresponding attachment style..

Questions 1-10: Secure
Individuals with this style can freely show and receive love.. Are sensual.. Sexual.. And have high self-esteem.. Can ask for help and offer it to others.. Get upset but get over it.. Do not hold grudges.. Forgive.. Are comfortable with closeness as well as distance.. Enjoy time alone and with others..

Questions 11-20: Pursuer
Individuals with this style expect a great deal of contact and closeness.. Usually want more time and attention than their partner does.. Are sensitive to rejection.. Get anxious when separated from their partner.. Want more information than their partner gives.. Focus more on what they dun have than what they do.. Are often perceived as needy.. Are better at giving love than receiving it.. Get upset easily.. Hold grudges.. Are hyper-vigilant abt their partner's behavior..

Questions 21-30: Avoider
Individuals with this style want and need a lot of time alone.. Are often less talkative than the partner.. Are sensitive to any form of control.. Are often quite self-sufficient.. Give little information.. Withdraw when upset.. Have difficulty expressing their feelings.. Are often very involved in their work..


Happy Bday to u..
Happy Bday to u..
Happy Bday to u.. u...
Happy.. Bday.. tooooo... u... u..
Happy Bday to Xh!! May all her wishes and dreams will cum true.. ^^

I know I can't touch ur heart now..
So it doesn't matter which kind of luv if I can stay with ya..
Cuz I knw the separated ones go beyond time & space & get together..
Becuz of ya, I will keep waiting becuz of ya..
This is the tot that fills my heart now..
I will always like & luv ya..

*I feel so xing fu with her*

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^