Juz got the sad midi from Hammie today.. Thankz Hammie.. It’s hit me when I first listen to it.. It’s reali kinda describe how I feel.. And maybe to Fluxc korkor too.. He has fallen down.. Fluxc korkor was saying at Hammie taggy.. It’s reali hurt to see the person he luv going back to her ex.. And there’s nothing he can do but to wait.. The feeling juz sux.. I reali can feel Fluxc korkor disappointment.. I have been through it.. It's juz suxs.. As if it's end of the world..

But I juz told him.. As the relationship gets older btwn the gal n her ex.. The gal is kinda used to her ex’s presence.. And it’s not so easy to say let go then let go.. It’s reali true.. And when someone experience abt it.. He or she will know what I mean.. And I told Hammie that.. When she grow up.. Juz dun be the one that are hurting the others.. Maybe she is still young and wun reali understand what an old man like me said to her.. Juz wanna tell Fluxc korkor.. “In life juz carry the truth forward as “Today” in hope that she will give u at least a chance “Tomolow” (yeKai, 2005)..” Though that is juz dreaming.. But nothing is for sure right? Imagine u have a steady gf for 10yrs.. And who knows tomolow might juz be the end for both of u..

And Boyboy said to Fluxc korkor that we will nvr knw how much it pains him.. Cuz each person is different.. Well.. Two roads Boyboy laid for himself last time.. First is to be happy for her n let go (Super hard yet short).. Second is to be sad everyday (Endless pain).. And Boyboy chose to be happy for her yet hope to be with her one day.. U nvr knw Fluxc.. U nvr knw.. Let time speak for itself.. Let time shows everything.. Fluxc korkor u are brave to share out ur pain rather than some who choose to keep it.. Boyboy is right.. Though we dun reali knw u that much but that there are ppl standing by ur side always.. Reali.. =)

Saw the reply from my frenz abt whether settling down is reali that bad.. Juz as I expect.. Stephen said there is certainly more things in life to look forward to.. Yea he is rite.. But what are those things? If I reali dun have those goals in my life how am I reali going to pursuit it.. And Joa said settling down in life is not the main objective.. Cuz no one stay with someone for ever.. Ya she is rite.. No one live with somebody forever.. Even if married there can be divorce.. But why can’t we look it in a more optimistic way.. Thinking that ur partner will be with u forever till u left this world.. Fairytale is reali bluffing ppl.. There is no such thing called happy ending.. It's merely a fiction.. But I choose to deceive myself.. And I choose to believe that there will be happy ending.. Cuz there will definitely be some minority that can achieve that.. Juz like Guang Liang’s Tong Hua.. But it’s kinda made me doubt even more of whether it's achievable..

How does it feel when u tried to study hard.. And wan to forget all those unhappy stuffs.. But as u tried ur vision get blur.. U can’t stop it from blinding urself.. While scrolling down the hp list.. Trying to find someone u can pour ur sorrows to.. And in the end u found none.. Worrying that u might be juz a nuisance to others.. And in the end u hide in the room pretending to study.. Covering urself up with notes and txtbk.. Worrying that ur mummy and daddy will spot ur swelling features.. Such a shameful thing maybe to u.. U got to be strong and stop been a weakling.. U should pull urself up when u have fallen down.. Keep hiding urself in the well is not the best thing to do.. Tok to ur frenz abt it.. They will be able to give u advices and views.. They can calm u down.. They can give u their lending ears.. They can give u the warming hugs.. And they will cry together with u.. Rem that even when the most misfortunate thing has fallen upon u.. Ur dear frenz will be there for u to hold ur arms.. They wun let u go no matter what.. No matter what they wun.. They wun leave u alone to die.. And I have a bunch of gd frenz.. Cuming to think of it I am reali glad..

When I met you..
Everything became clear..
My heart began beating passionately..
Truthfully I was always requesting..
A place in your heart..
And that's all I ask..

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^