Guess everyone now is so stressed and fed up rite? Haha.. So here are some lame jokes to relieve stress..


STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS!!


Boy : May I hold ur hand?
Gal : No thanks.. It isn't heavy..


Gal : Say u love me!! Say u love me!!
Boy : U love me..


Gal : If we become engaged will u give me a ring??
Boy : Sure.. What's ur phone number??


Gal : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
Boy : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..


Gal : Darling.. I want to dance like this forever..
Boy : Don't u ever want to improve?


Boy : I love u and I could die for u!!
Gal : How soon?


Boy : I would go to the end of the world for u!!
Gal : Yes.. But would u stay there?


Gal 1 : Have u ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?
Gal 2 : I did once.. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth..


Man : U remind me of the sea..
Woman : Becuz I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because u make me sick..


Wife : U tell a man something.. It goes in one ear and comes out of the other..
Husband : U tell a woman something.. It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth..


Mary : John says I'm pretty.. Andy says I'm ugly.. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : Hmm.. A bit of both.. I think u're pretty ugly..


Gf : "And are u sure u love me and no one else?"
Bf : "Dead Sure!! I juz checked the whole list again yesterday"..


Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".


Teacher : "What do u call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher"..


Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"


Teacher : "Sam!! U talk a lot!!"
Sam : "It's a family tradition"..
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher"..
Teacher : "What about ur mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman"..


Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "U just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated"..


Teacher : "Now.. Children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him.. What virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love"..


Teacher : "Now.. Sam, tell me frankly do u say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir.. I don't have to.. My mom is a good cook"..


Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent.. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease u have.. Urs is the tenth case I've treated.. The others all died"..


Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time"..


Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.. Now do u know why his father didn't punish him?"
Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand"..

I know I can't touch ur heart now..
So it doesn't matter which kind of luv if I can stay with ya..
Cuz I knw the separated ones go beyond time & space & get together..
Becuz of ya, I will keep waiting becuz of ya..
This is the tot that fills my heart now..
I will always like & luv ya..

*I feel so xing fu with her*

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^