Whether remarks are made unintentionally or intentionally.. The genuine remarks are always the casual one.. I believe this is reali true.. But how can one made remarks which are genuine without hurting the other party? Even the sophisticated ppl can't promise they can achieve that.. Cuz not everyone have the same level of tolerance.. The reaction one perceives from the other party might not be the same for another party.. Anyway what I feel is.. Think before speaking.. Think of what is the consequences.. Etc..

Was talking to xh yest nite.. Her frenz say she seem to put on weight le.. And it came from a guy.. That's why her nick say.. "I must start exercising!!!".. LoLz.. And she said dun go observe my fats hor.. Wahahaha.. Damn cute!! I can't stop laughing.. And so I purposely said.. Now that u remind me hor.. I think I will try to observe.. Wakakakaka.. >_<~ But frankly speaking.. She where got put on weight.. Her frenz blind huh? Well.. Maybe few years ago she did look different to her frenz ba.. Juz read abt xh's entry on how Drew celebrated bday with her.. So sweet sia.. He sang a sweet sweet song for her.. The best a guy can ever do is giving surprise at a time where the gal know that he wun be accompanying her due to some unforeseenable circumstances.. That disappointment is so overwhelming that she feel so down.. Anyway glad that Drew made it in the end.. At least Heaven is kind enuff to spare him some time.. *Glad* Seeing xh so happy is also a happy thing for me.. Cuz at least I know that there is one less unhappy event in the world..

Tomolow will be having P/M test 1.. Hopefully will not be tricky.. Hard.. Pattern pattern.. And that's all words I could use to describe.. Although oni 20 qns and an hour paper.. But to me that 20 qns are always damn hard.. And no matter how many times I studied and revised.. It's still the same.. Then Steph always like to tease by saying how many times I studied le.. Then he will add.. 你读了"N"百遍 liao rite.. LoLz.. Anyway gd luck to all the ppl I knw.. Ad.. Aly.. Bun.. Cas.. Cin.. Cy.. Col.. Eric.. Eve.. Jenn.. Joy.. Ly.. Man.. Mx.. Paul.. Pink.. Raz.. R3.. Sf.. Steph.. Tif.. Wm.. Xf.. Xh.. Xx.. Yj.. Yt.. Zoe.. And the list goes on.. Blah blah blah.. All the best.. *Ganbatte*

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

Glad Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Alrite here cum the big news which I digged on so far.. Something incredible that happened at SIM Library.. A weirdo guy is caught pccing in the library.. Damn bian tai loh.. Anyway the below conversation is taken from someone studying in SIM..

================================================

Some guy.. Who looks like the typical geek.. Came along and asked Sathiya..

Geek: Can I sit here? (Pointing to the empty chair beside him)

Sathiya: Oh ya sure go ahead..

Geek: (Loudly in a darm library) Thank u! Thank u very much..

Reena observes.. And laughed at Satya who looks at me and gives me the "That guy is weird look".. We continue to study and then Reena starts to day dream.. While day dreaming.. She observed the Geek and realised that the front portion of his pants is totally wet..

Reena: Satiya.. The guy pissed in his pants!

Sathiya: YA! Darm and he has to sit beside me?

Meanwhile.. Alvin and Luther get informed.. All of look.. Geek is busy fiddling around.. He has yet to take any book to study.. All leave to go for a break.. Sathiya eats a brownie and Alvin eats mashed potato as a snail's speed.. Back in the library..

Sathiya: (Lookin shocked) Reena he got a L****cating gel on his table..

Reena: Huh? Wat gel?

Sathiya: A LUBRICATING gel..!

Reena: What's it for?

Sathiya explained really vaguely.. Reena looked and observed..

GEEK'S HAND ARE INSIDE HIS LEFT POCKET AND HE OBVIOUSLY IS FIDDLING WITH HIS TOOL!!(He was Masturbating!! In the bloody Library)

Alvin and Luther gets informed.. Sathiya changes place.. All of us observe.. Luther informs me that there is a bible on his table.. I fume!!! What the fuck is wrong with this pimple faced Geek? No wonder he kept standing up many times to check out the cute Chinese girls who were too engrossed studying.. I report it to the Librarian..

The conversation with the Librarian is as follows.. She is Indian by the way..

Librarian: Yes.. Can I help you?

Reena: Hmm.. Yes.. Errr.. There is a guy sitting beside me who is busy masturbating.. With a lubricant gel on his table.. *Smilez*

Librarian: Ohhhh! WAT!!!!!! OMG!!!!

She comes along.. Geek still to engrossed with fiddling.. Doesn't realise she is watching..

Security guard takes forever to come.. Finanlly.. He is kicked out of the library.. The annoying part is.. If u are caught smoking in the premises.. U are fined $50.. But if u play with ur tool in the library.. U get chased out.. The library is boring anyways.. So who really cares? Life is unfair..

================================================

The pics taken is below..













================================================

Alrite the video taken is here..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3359VhuQfKY

================================================

When I came to know abt it.. I juz feel like beating that Geek up.. If he can do such a thing in public then I believe he will be a potential rapist.. Duno whether he is from SIM or not.. Cuz everyone not belonging to SIM also can access all the campus area.. Anyway juz alerting u ppl abt such incident happening in SIM.. Esp the gals.. Be careful k..

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

Fuming Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Useful insight into the male psyche.. Hehe..

================================================

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.. Finally the guys' side of the story.. I must admit.. It's pretty good.. We ALWAYS hear "The rules" from the female side.. Now here are the rules from the male side..

These are our rules!!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!!

1. Men ARE not mind readers..

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.. U're a big girl.. If it's up.. Put it down.. We need it UP.. U need it DOWN.. U dun hear us complaining about u leaving it DOWN..

1. Sunday sports.. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.. Let it be..

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.. And no.. We are nvr going to think of it that way..

1. Crying is blackmail..

1. Ask for what u want.. Let us be clear on this one.. Subtle hints do not work!! Strong hints do not work!! Obvious hints do not work!! Juz say it!!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only.. If u want help solving it.. That's what we do.. Sympathy is what ur girlfriends are for..

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.. See a doctor..

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.. In fact.. All comments becum null and void after 7 days..

1. If u wun dress like the Victoria's Secret girls.. Dun expect us to act like soap opera guys..

1. If u think u're fat.. U probably are.. Dun ask us..

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes u sad or angry.. We meant the other one..

1. U can either ask us to do something.. Or tell us how you want it done.. Not both.. If u already know best how to do it.. Juz do it urself..

1. Whenever possible.. Please say whatever u have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we..

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors.. Like Windows default settings Peach.. For example.. Is a fruit.. Not a color.. Pumpkin is also a fruit.. We have no idea what mauve is..

1. If it itches.. It will be scratched.. We do that..

1. If we ask what is wrong and u say "nothing".. We will act like nothing's wrong.. We know u are lying.. But it's juz not worth the hassle..

1. If u ask a question u dun want an answer to.. Expect an answer u dun want to hear..

1. When we have to go somewhere.. Absolutely anything u wear is fine.. Reali..

1. Dun ask us what we're thinking about unless u are prepared to discuss such topics as football.. Automobiles.. Or golf..

1. U have enough clothes..

1. U have too many shoes..

1. I am in shape.. Round IS a shape!!

1. Thank you for reading this.. Yes.. I know.. I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did u know men reali dun mind that? It's like camping..

Well.. Well.. After I read it.. Realised some of it is kinda true.. Then again whether it is the rules of gal or guy.. It juz dun matter.. Becuz by nature.. Gal and guy coexist together.. The actual fact behind the coexistance is to live peacefully with one another.. It juz dun matter whether it's the gal's rules that are dominant or is it the guy's rules that are more.. At the end of the day.. They still need each other..

================================================
24 FEB 2006

And today had our veri first meeting on Project Amoral.. Location is my place.. In the end.. The meeting ended up playing games.. LoLz.. Aiya.. Dun say until we are so slacked.. We got studied PM one hor.. Well.. Maybe ninety percent is playing and ten percent doing work loh.. LoLz.. Watching the fun mahjong show.. Laughed till beng loh.. Looking forward to Shadow Hearts later.. Hehehe.. Slacking again.. So sinful!!

================================================
22/23 FEB 2006

Yest was reali a great day for me.. Why? Becuz I went to find DD as I promised.. And we went out for awhile only.. Cuz later at evening had to go for HMG training.. Was kinda looking forward to it.. I told DD that later maybe can hold Sam's hand cuz finger pricking must hold hand one mah.. Hehe.. And DD said I se.. LoLz..

Well.. Sam is my all time idol mah.. So holding her hand definitely is my pleasure mah.. Cuz second chance dun cum by easily.. And I jolly know this FACT deep inside my heart.. Anyway there always some ppl that dun cherish the opportunity they have in their hands.. And when it slip away then regret.. What for!! It's juz too late.. A well known chinese saying "早知今日.. 何必当初.." And DD was complaining why I din say I wanna hold her hand.. LoLz.. Of cuz can't mah.. If can I also wan leh.. Heee.. Oops!!

Anyway the pricking is fun.. Fun at the expense of other pain.. LoLz.. Poor Ly kena pricked so many times.. The last time is the most painful one.. And Sher juz give it to him.. One.. Two.. Two and a half.. Three.. *Fire* LoLz.. And when I saw how Yy handled Ed's hand.. I wanna laughed.. Where got ppl like that pricked and squeezed blood one.. LoLz.. Poor Ed nearly have his hand twisted.. I pricked Yy.. And Ed pricked me.. Rotation of everyone.. Sam and Van one team.. Haiz.. No chance to grab Sam's hand liao loh.. But nvm.. I still get to hold Jenn's hand.. Hehe.. My plan is to hold both of their hands.. Wahahaha.. *Greed*

The last PM lesson was so fun that whenever I see the notes.. I wanna ROFL loh.. Reali can't help it.. And the most funny thing is what Xh did.. It was during break that I saw her.. I saw her and she saw me.. I smiled to her.. So did she.. She walked down the stairs of the LT with tea and snacks.. And with my back facing her.. She keep coughing alot of times behind me.. *Ahem* x10.. LoLz.. I know what she meant.. Teasing me loh.. Hehe.. But I was reali veri happy and glad with it.. Hmm.. Duno why also.. Then she stood behind me while waiting for Eve and Jac.. I stopped myself from turning over.. Cuz wait I turned over my seat and faced her.. She might teased me till my face turned red.. Heee.. =P

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

Giggling Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

The PM lecturer is damn funny.. Reali lame to a certain extend.. Today he said abt the million.. Reali wanna laugh out loud.. And he said he will got through five "Dangerous qns".. LOLz.. Reali kinda vague rite.. His English is reali "powerful" loh.. Hehe.. =X Well.. He also said something like.. "In English.. Excess demand is called shortage.." *Fainted*.. Then excess demand is not English huh? LoLz.. Reali funny.. Same as Mok.. Another big time joker.. The whole lecture can be juz listening to jokes.. Stories.. Etc..

Training or classes? Forgoing which one is the best fit choice? I reali dun have any idea.. Cuming MR500 in Mar seem impt to us.. Yet my classes crash onto the extra training schedule.. So in the end I reali have to forgo race for classes.. Cuz Inv reali damn hard.. And I know it myself.. When the elites of my grp find it hard.. So it's no doubt for me too..

Hmm.. Should I go chiong with Eric.. Jenn and Sam.. Heee.. Well.. Say say only.. Well must see also ba..

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

LOL Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Ok today whole day chiong Shadowhearts.. LOLz.. >_<~ Once start can't stop.. Lvl up and lvl up is my type.. Always trained for the best.. And yest finali chiong fin my Gundam SEED Destiny.. From evening watched till 2am.. Well.. I can say to be quite pleased with the ending.. Though still not up to my expectation.. A few touching scene for me to weep.. T_T If only reali there is Plan Destiny in this world.. Then everyone will be injected with the genes.. The genes will cause everyone to accomodate one another and understand one another well.. So it means no wars.. No disputes.. No conflicts.. Such a wonderful thing to have.. Who knws.. In the era of advanced science.. Maybe there will be one day that it might happened..

Sometimes when unhappy things happened.. How will one deal with it? Cuz I also duno myself.. Is it trying to be optimistic? Or are there some other ways out? For me I guess I won't do anything to solve it.. Esp when I alreadi tried so hard to resolve it yet the results aren't visible at all..

Sometimes I was wondering.. If I keep telling myself that there's nothing I can do.. And do nothing.. Then I won't be able to do more things.. Nothing will change.. Nothing will end.. How true.. Perhaps what I wish for was actuali beyond the path that I weren't able to choose.. In that case.. A path that I did not choose might as well have nvr existed at all.. *Sigh*

There are always many paths before me as well as for the rest of the ppl.. And I will always choose one and simply follow it.. I believe that what's at the end of the path is what I've been wishing for.. And I follow the path in order to confirm the fact that there is something for me in the end.. Be it gd or bad.. I still have to accept it cuz I juz dun have any other more choices left..

Sometimes choosing the correct path depends on destiny too.. But if we can attribute events to destiny then why do we struggle to live? All living things are born and they eventually die.. That's all there is to it.. So does it means that it's pointless to wish or hope for anything? Who knows.. Haix..

If time can turn back.. I believe that will be everyone's wishes.. But think again.. Can one say for sure that they won't make a mistake again the next time? Juz who decided it? And what was decided?

But let's face reality.. Cuz such technology doesn't exist at all.. There is only one method.. And that is.. If we can't go back then we should travel down the correct path from the beginning knowing what one can do and what one should do.. Becuz only the person himself/herself know that best..

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

Pondering Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

A STORE where woman can buy husbands has juz opened.. At the entrance are these instructions: "U may visit only once! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increases as the shopper ascends the flights.. "U may choose any man from a particular floor, or u may choose to go up a floor, but u cannot go back down except to exit!"

One woman goes to the first foor where the sign reads: "These men have jobs." The second floor sign reads: "These men have jobs and love kids.." The third floor sign reads: "These men have jobs, love kids and are good-looking.." The fourth floor sign reads: "These men have jobs, love kids, are good-looking and help with housework.." The fifth floor sign reads: "These men have jobs, love kids, are good-looking, help with housework and are romantic.."

She is tempted to stay but curiosity gets the better of her.. So she goes to the sixth floor. But the sign reads: "U are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.. There are no men here.. This floor exists as proof that women are impossible to please.. "Thank u for shoppin. Goodbye!"

So the morale of the story juz made so much sense to Ly.. Sf.. Steph and me.. I agree totally that woman are impossible to please.. So much that sometimes they are juz demanding too many things in some way..

Disclaimer: No offence to all the ladies

After Inv class on Thurs.. Ly and Steph was asking me on what happened on that day.. Thinking of it juz boiled my blood up to 1000 degrees.. Even Steph said he can feel that anger aura in the entry even as he read it.. While Ly tried to calm me down in some ways.. And DD said no need to go to that extend of cutting off the ties.. But I'm reali veri pissed.. And I always do things in anger.. So it might mean that everything I did is at a moment of anger.. But I SURE I wun regret it..

Maybe Ly is rite that becuz that day is a such a special day.. That's why I get so worked up.. True to some extend.. I juz wanna say this once.. I have a pet peeve.. And I HATE it when ppl flake out on me.. So.. If u're gonna flake.. Juz tell me now.. I'm only going to make plans if u're CERTAIN that u're going to be there.. Better get ur mind crystal clear..

Happened to see Reika today with her frenz.. Well.. They are looking for something.. Duno what thing also.. Reika juz remind of me when I was the same age as her.. That curious look in one's eyes.. Asking why and why.. That's why I like to make fun of her and Marcus.. And then everytime kena whack by her.. And Marcus refused to accept this fact so he always pushed it to Edwin.. They are veri funny.. I like them alot..

The empty blueness juz squeezes my heart..
Everytime I look up at this sky which stained with tears..
If it is my destiny to leave behind the days where I fought for u..
And even if I almost lose sight of my true self..
I swear I will do that solely juz for u..
As long as I still have my life..

Heckcare Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

I reali hope today will be a memorable day.. But someone juz thrown it away with her own hands.. Is a $10 movie ticket reali that impt than me? And what if I alreadi made reservation for our date.. And she juz simply said reservation haven made deposit yet so nvm.. While the movie ticket alreadi been bought.. I'm not saying she can't accompany her frenz.. But can't she juz think more thorough before making a decision.. Who ask her first? Her frenz or me? A person can't be measured in terms of quantitative value.. So to her am I worth even less than a $10 ticket in her eyes? And I believe I am.. At least to her..

I pushed away my precious date with someone I dote on juz for her.. And she simply dun appreciate what I did.. And I have a tiff over the cancelling of the date with that precious person.. I should have go ahead with my own plan.. I shouldn't have care abt her.. In the first place her bf not free to spend Vday with her is her own problem.. Not mine.. How foolish I am..

I'm reali totally pissed off now.. Promise breakers juz get on my nerves.. I hate ppl that break promises.. She think by saying that we will go out next time again will pacify me? I tell her rite now.. The ans is NO!!

She reali dun understand what day is today.. If today I dun have the chance to spend with her.. It means that in future there wun be also.. Cuz it almost 100 percent that she will be spending with her bf on that day.. It's only once per year.. Today I'm not forcing u to spend the day with me.. Cuz u have no one to accompany u so I tried to accompany u.. Even if it's juz for a few hrs I also feel satisfied.. And I know by the time the clock clicked twelve.. I will be like Cinderalla.. Everything changes back to normal..

Right now I'm removing every single contacts I have with her.. From phone to net.. Whichever ways it takes.. Previously I'm not so determined.. But from 1607hrs onwards when she said that.. I'm reali veri determined.. I'm not going to forgive anyone for doing such irresponsible thing esp when the date is so so impt to me.. And it's the one and only opportunity in my whole life.. Dun blame me.. It's she started in the first place.. Previously I have alreadi been veri forgiving for whatever she done.. Even with matters that hurt me so much.. Blame herself if I dun smile or tok to her anymore.. I had enuff alreadi.. Enuff is enuff.. No more crapz.. Always tons and tons of excuses..

Anyway I still wanna wish everyone a Happy Vday!! Esp to those that have bfs but their bfs can't make it for the celebration.. And Liying is one of them.. Though ur loved ones can't make it for today.. But rem everyday is Vday for couples..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Frustrated Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

These few days always rain.. Yest went for training.. Also scared walked halfway it rained.. Cuz it reali quite a long walking distance.. Sometimes I dun reali like what my Sir said.. Kinda sarcastic in some way.. Sixty front kicks in a min.. Yes it can be done.. One kick per sec if u wan to calculate it.. But bear in mind that is it possible to kick and move back to guarding block position and then change side in one sec.. Continue with the kick with ur other leg.. I doubt so.. Kicking plus changing position all take more than one sec.. So how is it possible then.. Well who knows.. Unless they all like me play punk loh.. Haha..

So what if I'm kelong.. Bunn alreadi kick till she have problem catching her breath.. Her lips is nearly white.. Of cuz I wan to say a fake number to help her.. During the third rd she needa kick 80 times in a min.. The number sound absurd to me.. I juz fake a number to reduce the variance between what she kicks and the actual target.. Punishment is to do pumping.. Number will depend on the variance.. And I wan to reduce some load for her.. The feeling when I saw her with that pale face.. It juz remind me of doing umpteen times of SOC.. That feeling is such a torment.. Reali.. And I mean it..

Went to Sherry's place to do project.. On the way we saw this car so familiar.. Haha.. And I said it seem to be Sf.. So Ly drove over.. Indeed it's him.. Haha.. When I saw Sf stopping at the white line.. Flipping through the street directory.. It juz makes me laugh.. Reali.. It shows his determination to find the place.. Kinda cute to me.. Afterall when studying for exams also not so serious loh.. LoLz..

We chat and chat till like nvrending.. Saying abt topics here and there.. As Steph said.. My eyes closed.. Haha.. I canot tahan animore.. Reali KO liao.. But I still can hear his toking.. But my eye lids juz automatic close.. Ly said btwn X and Y who is pretti.. Steph will choose X.. While I choose Y.. This is becuz X's thinking is close to Steph.. While Y's thinking is like mine.. I totally agree with Ly.. Oh ya speaking abt the gals.. Haha.. Here comes our monthly forecast for our class gals.. Ranking from first to fifth.. Haha.. Steph agree with me also..

1) Pink
2) Sam
3) Eve
4) Jes
5) Jen

Have u ppl wondered what is Project S? LoLz.. Well.. Speaking of it.. Bunn.. Ly.. Sf belonged to Project S.. Steph is Project K.. Well.. As for me.. Hmm.. Bunn said I Project S also.. Hahaha.. Funny..

Anyway we had supper at 3am in the morning.. Haha.. Jalan Kayu prata and rojak.. Best.. Left at near 4am.. Reached home.. Straight away KO..

And Bunn is correct.. How do one carry on with a r/s that is been set with a deadline? To luv or not at all? To go all the way out or retreat? Contradicting in some sense.. Actuali both paths are not wrong.. Retreating allows one to reduce that hurt inflicted on oneself.. Although sad in the first place.. But it allow one to stand up firmly much faster.. While continuing allow the one to have the most wonderful and sweet moments with the other party.. Sweet at first but sad in the end when the deadline arrived.. I wondered how u guys will choose..

Is it always true that when there is deadline set then someone will start to cherish another more? I believe it's reali true.. Cuz I experienced it myself.. But why ppl wan to behave in that way? Why must there always a need for things to becum so bad and complicated.. Then ppl will start to cherish another juz for the sake of clearing that so-called deadline.. Some ppl fulfil some stuffs juz for the sake of preventing the unknown consequences after the deadline.. Must them be so realistic afterall? In other words.. These ppl work in the way that when a problem cum they will try to clear it.. And when they solve it then they juz simply dun put in efforts animore.. How disappointing..

Spending the whole day doing stuff.. Not sch work.. But my personal wish.. Every yr is the same.. I wun fail to dispatch the stuffs I wan to.. Juz imagine as u write the letters.. U are feeling so sentimental.. Ur tears started to roll down.. Past can be sweet as well as painful.. But why am I always the one bearing painful past.. I juz wan to do something while I can.. Who knows what will happen in future.. Even if one day I'm gone.. I'm glad that at least I still leave them with some memories of me and them..

And I promise after Mon.. I wun bother some ppl animore.. They wun see me chatting with them animore.. In fact they wun get to see me online animore.. But from today till Sun 2300hrs.. I will still be on net if I can.. I will cherish this little time I have with some.. I juz wan to apply the theory of urgency which I mention above.. See how anxious I can get.. I will be giving myself a year from Vday.. So by the next Vday.. I hope I will be standing in front of everyone looking better..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Calm Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Yest went to disturb Sam during break.. And went home also disturb her when she was below with Gy.. Haha.. Damn fun to disturb her.. Cuz I will nvr know how she will retaliate.. That's the fun part..

And I went to Compass Point with my six men Team Amoral United.. Oh ya plus Huimin also.. The manager for Amoral United.. Haha.. >_<~ Well.. Compass Point do make many laughed when they think of that escalator incident.. I reali make a fool out of myself.. Sometimes I think I reali juz think so much in my mind that I juz walked and walked without realising what whether I have walked the right way or not.. Haha.. When I think of it.. It was so paiseh yet fun.. Full of laughter.. Memories are juz great.. And so I make sure I was darn careful this time.. So I wun leave another happening tale at Compass Point again.. Haha..

Haix.. But looks like I have failed again.. Now this is what happened.. Stephen said we go take lift.. So we waited there.. The lift came.. It was abt half full ba.. And we have a total of seven ppl excluding some other strangers.. So I went into the lift.. I tot they wan to cum in also.. And they din loh.. They all looked at me.. And I looked at them.. I was stunned when they sorta waved bye bye to me.. @_@" Think those ppl in the lift see me as a weirdo ba.. I was so paiseh.. So I waited for them upstairs.. Once they saw me.. They keep laughing away.. Arghhhh..

Does the scene of a guy and gal having some arguments familiar to u ppl? I suppose it should be.. How abt another scene where both the guy and gal know that they are wrong in some way.. And they picked up the phone and called each other.. And it's always so coincidence that they dialled the number at the same time.. And so both can't get through the line at all.. Unable to get through the line.. Both the guy and the gal is disappointed.. The guy said to himself.. Is she still angry with me? While the gal said to herself.. How do I said sorry to him? Some of us might have gone through this before I guess..

Does opinions of other ppl matters to some? I guess it kinda affects an inch or so.. But why in the first place ppl take it to hard abt other ppl's opinions.. Well.. Think everyone is like tat ba.. When u listen to stuffs that u dun like to hear.. U most probably will rem it for life.. Etc.. I do accomodate ppl and listen to their opinions.. But sometimes there are ppl that juz think that they are the controllers of life.. Juz like they can control each and everyone of them.. But bear in mind that if they dun wan the others to do the same to them.. Then they jolly well dun do it to other ppl.. Everyone have their own actions and behaviours.. No one can control anyone!!

Saw my Jac's nick.. It says "Is hope something meant to be crushed or a strength which carried u through adversities?" I pondered too.. Well.. Different ppl will again have different stands regarding this statement.. Juz like a debate consisting of two different teams arguing in totally different ways.. Well.. My answer is.. "Ppl that have been running smoothly in life will say that hope is a strength that carried ppl through adversities".. "While ppl that have been through many unhappy hurdles will say that hope is something meant to be crushed by some ppl".. And I can feel that heartfelt pain when one's hope is been crushed totally.. Juz taking an example.. Imagine a guy tot that the gal likes him also.. And when he finali revealed his feelings for her.. Everything is not as he expected.. How will u feel then? Painful rite? What can be more painful than a heartache which can nvr be cured even with this advanced technology in medicine.. No matter how much painkillers one take.. The pain juz dun faded away.. Guess what is the only cure to it? Well.. I think it's time ba.. As great philosopher said before.. "Time heals everything.. Time heals all wounds.." How true..

This few weeks I think I gonna make a big decision.. Whether to continue on or not.. Let me see what the other says ba.. Listening to advices is always the best solutions to all problems.. Though some might be useless while some might be valuable.. But to me they are all impt.. Cuz even the most hilarious advice can be of some help afterall..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Sighing Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Now I juz feel that I'm walking into that own world of mine once again.. Cutting off any form of contacts I have.. Living in the world of mine.. The wind blew past me.. Asking me why am I alone again.. I wish I can answer Mr Wind..

How I wish I can reach for rainbow paradise.. Humans are always dreaming.. And that's the most distinctive feature a human being possess.. Everyone will wish to go to a place where they can relate all their happiness to.. And if only there is such places existing in this world..

Whenever there is a special day cuming.. Such as X'mas or Vday.. There are bound to be some ppl that are home alone.. Not becuz they dun wan to go out and enjoyed the moment with the rest.. It's juz that they are unable to.. For X'mas.. Every of their frenz are not free.. And for Vday.. Obviously it's for couples.. And those single one will be spending their day at home while wishing that how he or she can have the taste of this special day also..

As much as I believe.. I feel that maybe they haven meet the right person yet.. Or should I say they will definitely have a chance cuz Heaven is fair.. But that's only self consolation ba le.. Cuz if everything can be analysed using this so-called theory of "Ur turn will cum one day".. Then everywhere can see millionaire alreadi.. Why? Becuz though today they din struck ToTo.. And by using that theory.. It means that confirmed one day will be their chance..

And why is there always so much politics ard me.. Whether it's other ppl or my clique.. Johnson was asking Amos and me today why are there so much politics in this club.. As far as I'm concerned I simply dun care abt so stuffs.. Unless it involved me.. Amos said if there aren't politics then why have government in the first place.. As for me.. I said becuz human have different thinkings.. Some pursued for power.. While some pursued for fame and recognition.. That's why when everyone thinks differently.. A team will soon ended up falling apart.. Unless we can make sure everyone have the same thinking.. But that's impossible.. Even clones can't do it.. Let alone total different individuals.. Thirst for win is a gd thing.. But overwhelming thirst will only lead to selfish acts only..

It's raining heavily now.. Looking up the sky.. Droplets are falling as if the Heaven is crying.. Some ppl always say that whenever it rained.. It means that Heaven is crying.. But in actual fact we know that it's a scientific cycle.. Water evaporate and condense to form clouds.. Until the clouds can't hold on anymore then it will release the condense vapour into water droplets..

But I choose to believe that the Heaven is crying.. When a person is down.. He or she will certainly hope that there are ppl to comfort them at least for that moment.. And when things get so bad.. They will even believe stuffs that are not true at all.. When a person is desperate.. Anything can juz be a comfort for him or her..

Even I do the same thing too.. Whenever I meet with unhappy things.. I will always think and reflect what is wrong.. And I will juz say to Heaven.. Can u help me.. Of cuz I know it's juz a moment of foolishness.. Maybe it's juz one of the 101 ways to calm and comfort oneself ba le..

Even now there are some things which I'm unhappy abt.. But what can I do? Everyone have their own thinkings.. I can't forced anyone juz to accomodate my interests.. Human practically are make up of jealousy and selfishness.. And it almost a fact to that.. When it cum to frenzship.. Of cuz one will choose someone who is more comfortable to be with.. When it cum to relationship.. One will definitely choose someone he or she is happy to be with.. And now I understand why ppl actuali compared btwn their current partner against another third party that are chasing them.. Who dun wan the best for themselves.. Maybe one shouldn't have expectation in the first place at all.. Cuz if one dun expect then there wun be disappointment.. Maybe I'm those that expect and demand too much.. And in the end I was the one that disappoint the most..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Unhappy Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Juz a short story to narrate..

Once upon a time.. There is this knight who have a son.. One day the knight returned from battle and went directly to the nursery to see his infant son.. Upon entering the nursery he found blood all over.. The walls and floor were covered.. He ran to the bassinet.. A quick look reveal a mass of blood.. He looked over at his dog lying in a corner.. Overcome with grief and anger he took out his sword and slay his dog.. Figuring it killed his baby..

He returned to the bassinet and upon closer inspection saw a wolf lying on top of his infant son.. When he lifted the wolf from his son he realized his son was alive.. It then came to him that his dog had killed the wolf and saved his son.. He had killed the dog that saved his son..

Morale of story is that first appearances can be deceiving.. Even the cutiest and naive gal can hurt a guy's heart.. But what to do..

Though it hurts to luv someone and not be luved in return.. But the most painful is to luv someone when u tot she luv u too.. How true.. Maybe Heaven juz wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person.. We should knw how to be grateful for that gift..

However a sad thing abt life is when I meet someone that means a lot to me.. Only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be with me.. And I juz have to let go.. They often said that when one door of happiness of someone closes.. Another opens.. But why I haven see another door open.. Maybe I juz looked so long at the closed door that I dun see the one which has been opened for me animore..

I always believe that giving someone with all my luv is never an assurance that they'll luv me back.. Dun expect luv in return.. It's not a trade.. I guess only have to wait for it to grow in their hearts.. But if it doesn't.. Then nvm.. Cuz I'm content that it grew in mine..

Proverb says "Nvr say goodbye when u still want to try.. Nvr give up when u still feel u can take it.. And lastly nvr say u dun luv that person animore when u can't let go.." How true.. And I haven let go all these while.. Even if I said I have.. It's juz making u feel better.. Cuz after taking away the feeling.. The passion.. The romance.. I still find that I still care abt u even till now..

Maybe by comparing to him.. I dun have that enuff happiness to make u sweet.. Enuff trials to make u strong.. Enuff sorrow to keep u human.. Enuff hope to make you happy.. But I always hope u put urself in other ppl's shoes.. If u feel that it hurts u.. It will probably hurts that other person too.. Right?

They always said happiness lies for those who cry.. Those who hurt.. Those who have searched and those who have tried.. But why I still can't find the happiness I yearn for afterall.. Despite the things I have did..

Why must u always dun understand the fact that some things are not so simple on the surface.. And u tot that u alreadi solve the problem juz becuz u did what was required to stop further deterioration of the problem.. U juz dun understand that if things are solved so easily in the first place.. Then it will alreadi be..

Yes.. Efforts can be seen in u to recover the frenzship.. And I'm glad.. But does going out with ppl that have hurt someone before meant that they are been forgiven? Reali no idea.. If u think that the effort is enuff.. Then go ahead.. Though anger is no longer presence in myself.. But that prevailing pain is always there.. Asking myself to forget abt it is no longer a possible thing.. Cuz I'm no longer can be magnanimous anymore.. And I knw it myself..

There are things I luv to hear but I would nvr hear it from u.. Although a careless word may kindle strife.. A cruel word may wreck a frenzship.. A timely word may relieve stress.. While a luving word may heal and bless.. But ask urself whether u have did that? Juz a luving word from u is reali so hard afterall? Must I always sms u first? Must I always continue to show my temper then u will notice me? I was always waiting patiently everyday for ur msg.. Or even on net waiting for u.. But from the last meeting till now.. I dun see anything from u.. And season greetings dun count at all..

U knw.. I think I reali have to wake up le.. Is it true that the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past? I guess I can't go on well in life until I have let go of my past failures and heartaches ppl gave me.. And u are certainly the biggest problem I have for now..

Now I think I juz wan to dream what I want to dream.. Go where I wan to go.. Be what I wan to be.. Cuz I have only one life and one chance to do all the things I wan in life.. How I wish I can live in seclusion..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Moody Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^

Juz kope from a mail abt a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo (Yaya I agree with this..)

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder (What if the gal is taller than the guy leh?)

3. How cute they look when they sleep (I think apply to some ba..)

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms (Ya.. It's true.. It's juz like having a cute kitten and puppy in the arms..)

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world (Yaya.. Correct Correct!! =D)

6. How cute they are when they eat (Haha.. Well.. Some gals do gulp their food down..)

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while (Absolutely true..)

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside (Living things of cuz got temperature leh.. LOLz..)

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear (This is true.. Cuz gals anyhow wear also look nice in some ways..)

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth (Well.. No comments for this.. LoLz..)

11. How cute they are when they argue (NOoo!! Dun agree.. It's WAR!!)

12. The way her hand always finds yours (Holding hands is the greatest thing

13. The way they smile (Yeah I like smiles of some gals.. Absolutely sweet loh.. My clique got a few which I like..)

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight (It feels gd when she still call and care for u after a tiff..)

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that
an hour later.. (Well.. Not sure..)

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them (Haha.. Not sure.. No exp yet.. *ROFL*)

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you" (Heee.. Can feel that it nice..)

18. Actually.. Just the way they kiss you.. (Aiya I think guys are all the same lah..)

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry (It feels great when a gal cry in ur arm.. Cuz it juz give u the feeling that u wan to protect her..)

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly (Gals look extremely cute when they apologize over something silly..)

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt (Haha.. Yayaya.. Absolutely true!)

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (Even though we don't admit it!) (LoLz.. Well.. At least they apologized..)

23. The way they say "I miss you" (Hehe.. No idea leh..)

24. The way you miss them.. (Yaya.. But sometimes the miss is kinda sad lah.. Cuz the gal dun reali know the guy miss her.. And to say out is like paiseh..)

25. The way their tears make u want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.. Yet regardless if u love them.. HATE them.. Wish they would die or know that u would die without them.. It matters not.. Becuz once in ur life.. Whatever they were to the world they become everything to u.. When u look them in the eyes.. Travelling to the depths of their souls and u say a million things without trace of a sound.. U know that ur own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.. We luv them for a million reasons.. No paper would do it justice.. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.. A feeling.. Only to be felt afterall..

Such a meaningful content it have.. I luv it veri much.. Cuz it's true afterall.. When a gal cry in front of u.. U juz wanna protect them from all harms or whatsoever bad stuffs.. This apply to frenz too.. As a frenz u would also wish to protect some of ur frenz from harms.. Etc.. U wish u have that ability but sad to say in reality such scenarios is kinda rare.. And some frenz juz wanna keep stuffs to themselves.. Dun wan to tell u at all.. I mean if reali got troubles juz say out.. Say it out will at least make one feel better.. And they will give lots of excuses to give u.. Tellin u why.. Blah blah blah..

Sometimes juz wish that the person I wish to hear from will juz called me up.. Not for the sake of asking me some sch stuffs.. Or other miscellaneous stuffs.. Such as gossips they wan to know.. Etc.. I juz wanna hear.. "Hey let's have a tok leh.. Long time no chat le.." But I know it's not going to happen animore.. Maybe in dream might happen.. Juz continue to dream on ba.. Haix..

Anyway the above from a chain letter.. Do u ppl believe in chain letter? Actuali I dun believe also.. Cuz I feel that the gd things that they say in the letter wun becum reality even if I did what they specified.. Everytime it will say something like make a wish after u send in to how many ppl.. But the moment u wish it.. Does that wish becum true.. I doubt so..

Got gd things of cuz got bad things too.. It will state that for those who break the chain will suffer consequences of bad r/s or other things related to r/s.. And ppl are always veri sensitive when it cum to r/s matters.. Right? And no one wish to have a bad bad luck when cum to r/s.. So normally ppl will juz send the letter out as fast as possible.. Juz to avoid that so called curse on themselves..

And I hope the wish I make will cum true soon..

If I see you today..
If I talk to you today..
Or if I see you a year from now..
Or if I talk to you a year from now..
You are always my friend..
Always..

Moody Kai

*MerQu|s3*^^ aka *yeKai*^^